By Lushomo Hamukoma
It’s hard to admit, but I am often hit with the resounding feeling of loneliness. Sometimes it’s in a room full of people, at work or the comfort of my own space that it hits me the most. It’s a gut crushing feeling that I am alone and no one knows what is happening in my head.
Why is this the case? As a child of God, I surely shouldn’t be experiencing this, should I? Ideally no. But I am always reminded that I am human. And that my loneliness will often scream louder than anything else I know.
If you are reading and experiencing this, I want you to know that you are not alone. Yes, what you are discerning is completely real and somehow feels like it will never come to an end, but you are never alone.
Before Christ, I believed my loneliness was a truth. It was a constant reminder that wherever I went, I was alone, and others were not going through this. Something I did not know at the time is how different these things are (emotions and truth). Emotions change, up and down like a rollercoaster but truth does not change at all.
Dear sister of mine, God has been there all along. In the room where you have gone unnoticed, that friend group you’ve been excluded from, even with many people around you. You are not alone. God has been there. He has seen and walked through what you’ve been enduring. In Him, you have a companion for life.
I went to college at the age of 18. Naively I thought I’d meet new friends and create amazing memories. Come the first day with nerves sky high, I marched to college expectant and ready to make friends. Awkwardly I discovered, I was one of the youngest and only women on a course full of guys – significantly older than I was. During the first few months, I experienced loneliness unlike I’d ever known. I would often cry wondering why God had put me in a place where I was so unhappy. There were so many moments that I was ready to give up. But can I let you in on a little secret? Looking back, I’m incredibly thankful for that time. I drew close to God in a way that I could never have imagined. I came to know that I indeed wasn’t alone. I eventually made friends with people on the course. They came right at the time I needed them and not when I wanted them.
So, I’m not sure what your season of loneliness looks like, but I want you to know that like every other season of your life this will come to pass. God wants you to draw close to him in moments like this.
Here are some of the scriptures I stood on and ran back to whenever loneliness overcame me.
Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand
I held on to these for dear life. I encourage you to also hold on to them until you know them as an unshakeable truth in your life.